I am on tumblr right now. I fixed my blog, which is good, I'm liking all the pictures I'm reblogging, but somethings different, I'm not getting any good vibes as usual. As always, I'm getting this weird mix of feeling wonderlust and nostalgic. I want to move forward, but I don't want things to change. I don't want to have to say goodbye to everything. I'm getting scared and panicky just thinking about this.
I've met a girl in the last few days, Rebeca, with whom I've been spending a lot of time with recently. She is quite amazing, and I don't mean that in a romantic/sexual way. She is an extraordinary human being, and I wouldn't say that she is an inspiration, because I DO NOT want to become like her. I want to witness her just being, and be happy about it. If this moves forward, we could become good friends, but honestly, I can't imagine that happening just yet. She's moving to my town in a couple of days. I hope we become close, even though she isn't the kind of person I'm used to being around.
I got drunk yesterday. I also met someone who can buy me cigarettes and alcohol or whatever. Yes, I met him through Rebeca. I feel so ashamed and guilty about drinking so much yesterday. I knew I couldn't handle that amount. I always do this. I can't just have a drink with my friends, I always have to get absolutely drunk. I hope this doesn't mean that I'm turning into my mother. I really hope so.
I don't really know whether I'm happy or sad at the moment. I don't think I know the difference anymore.
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